I did it… I put it out there…

I did it… I put it out there…

Last night I told Facebook that I was going to open this blog and start sharing.  This morning before I looked at my phone I wanted to take it all back.  Then I saw so many messages of love and encouragement and interest so I am moving forward.  I am scared to death to put my vulnerability out there, my thoughts and my shortcomings.  But guess what?  Those are part of what makes me who I am today.  I am the good, the bad, the successes and the not so successes.  There have been moments in my journey when I have wanted to give up and just be done with it all.  That is not God’s plan for me.  I know that I have gone through what I have because I am meant to help people.  What that looks like is yet to be determined.  I am putting it all in His hands and will be His instrument however He sees fit. 

I will not apologize for the things that I write.  They are my thoughts, my beliefs and my feelings.  There will be some who do not believe in the same God that I do or in the same faith that I do and that is ok.  I will still share all of that because without it, I wouldn’t be here. 

So here we go together.  Please feel free to share your stories, your thoughts, helpful things you have done, or your goals.  I know that as human beings we are not meant to do any of this alone.  I know that we are here, in this crazy little thing called life to love, support and help each other. 

Welcome to My Road to Healthy… our journey together.

Love and Acceptance

I have had a hard time deciding how to go about my blog.  In the end, I have decided that I am just going to share what is on my mind at the time I write and somehow it will all come together in the end.  

Sunday night we had a couple over for dinner.  During the conversation the woman started talking about how she wished she had gotten help for her depression long before she did.  She is in her 70s and talked about how things like that were never really talked about, let alone dealt with.  My heart hurt for her!  She said multiple times that she would have been a better mom to her children, and a better wife had she just gotten help.  

It got me thinking about my life.  I sat in my depression and eating disorder alone for so long.  I can't imagine where I would be now had I not reached out for help.  But more importantly, now that I have reached out and I have shared my story, I can't imagine not sharing it.  I firmly believe one of the reasons I have gone through and am going through what I am, is because I am meant to help others.  The feedback I have received from people has been so amazing!  I want everyone who has suffered in silence to have that same love and acceptance.  

We are in the generation that needs to change the way mental illness and eating disorders are looked at.  We need to respond with positivity, love, and acceptance.  That is the only way more people will be willing to talk and share their stories.  

If there is something you do not understand about these conditions, please do not just judge someone who is living them.  Ask, research, love, accept.  It sounds simple.  It IS simple.  I know I am not alone in my thoughts, feelings and experiences.  I know there are still so many suffering in silence.  Please reach out.  Please push past the fear and allow yourself to get on the track to happiness. I did it, You can do it.  We will do it!

Intro to Me

When I first set up this blog back in 2012, I did so with grand plans to lose a bunch of weight so I could be "healthy" according to the world’s standard.  I envisioned going from a size 20 to a size 10, from weighing 250 something to 150 something.  I thought this would be a magic cure all in my life.  I would be happy, skinny and finally worthy to find a husband.  Little did I know that 4 years later I would be coming out of treatment and be in recovery for an eating disorder.  This blog will now be about my road to the real healthy that I am on, the horrible, the lonely, the amazing and the possible!  I am no longer ashamed to have it all out there.  I am not a professional but I am hoping that my experience can reach just one person and make a difference.  

In the last few months I have had what I consider to be many little miracles happen.  Some would say they are not really miracles, that miracles need to be big and grand, but to me these are miracles and prove to me that I have a Heavenly Father who is aware of me and loves me.  

As some of you know I have shared part of my story on an amazing website healhopeinspire.com.  I have had the opportunity to work with some INCREDIBLE women on this project.  One thing it has taught me is that no matter our circumstance, no matter our story, we are all going through something and the feelings from these are universal.  For the longest time I felt alone.  I felt like no one would understand me or my feelings.  I am happily mistaken.  I am not alone and neither are you.  

I have so much I want to share about therapy and treatment and my recovery.  The posts may not be in order but I will try to make them as fluid as possible.  If you visit the website you can know a little more of my story before I share it here, plus you will also get to read the stories of the other women I talked about earlier.